The Serial Dater

In July of 2018, I unapologetically signed up for a dating app.

I think I just wanted to get out of my own head and date. And for the last 8 months, I have done just that. I have funny, awkward, redemptive stories of me just trying to get out there.

But maybe that’s my problem. I just wanted to get out there. I wanted to get my hustle back.

Somewhere along the way, my heart shifted from serial dater to romantic.

I wanted more. I wanted to meet that one person who could be my person. And I started thinking, what if I’ve already met him? What if we had been two ships passing and we’ve missed each other?

I felt despair. Had I ruined my chances with my future beau by dating around? Or not being assertive enough? Or just plain not being at the right place at the right time?

I think a lot of us feel an enormous amount of pressure to live our best lives now, to manufacture our lives in just such a way that we receive the life we want to have. Our Instagram feed is flooded with inspirational quotes about pursuing our legacies or living life with no regrets.

I don’t know about you but I regret things all the time! How does anyone have a soul and not regret uttering a harsh word or student loans?! So many student loans….

I’ve been wrestling with this idea that I have to make just the right decision when God reminded me of some of His promises:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. – Roman 8:28

One thing God has spoken, two things I have heard: “Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love”; and, “You reward everyone according to what they have done.” – Psalm 62:11-12

A man’s heart plans his way but the Lord directs his steps. – Proverbs 16:9

At the core of what God was trying to show me was that I’m just not that powerful. I control neither the moon nor the stars in the sky and I am certainly not in control of the timing of things in my life.

Elizabeth Eliot said once to “do the next thing right in front of you.

You don’t need to know how to get to the finish line. You just need to trust the one guiding you.

I’d like to caveat this by saying that many people will throw the verse(s) out there that say Be still and know that I am God as justification to do nothing.

Here’s the thing: When the Lord told Moses to be still, the next thing Moses did was move forward. 

There’s a big difference between striving against God and moving towards God. One is adversarial and the other is peaceful.

All I’m saying is that you can’t expect to get a job if you never send any applications.

So I’m going to keep dating until I strike gold.
tattoo

 

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