Over the next few days/weeks, I will be posting blog posts from my old blog. A part of me wants to remember the girl before the illness, before the diagnosis. This particular piece is from June 16, 2015. I am sitting on a hard mattress in a cottage in sunny California. It's the last … Continue reading How to be confident when you are an orange in a barrel of apples
About a month ago, I made a decision to shave my head. It had been a slow progression towards this decision. A few weeks before I went into the hospital, I had my hair shaved into a a long mohawk. I had hair down past my shoulders. I spent every other day blowing it out. … Continue reading Beautiful.
Sometimes, I wish I were different. I wish I were taller and thinner. I wish I had shinier hair and was more organized. I collect all the pieces I want to be and try to be them. When I first got treatment for schizophrenia, I thought I could be whoever I wanted to be. I … Continue reading Grace and other words
I heard a pastor once say that the best sermons are the ones that convict the speaker as much as the listener. So this blog post is as much for me as it is for you. Bear with me while I process out loud. A few years ago, I asked God to remove the temptation … Continue reading You, me and the dog
Two years ago, I always felt like I was running out of time. Like the whole world would fall apart if I didn't change immediately. I read scripture constantly, prayed continuously, read every Christian self-help book I could get my hands on and went to counseling. And I saw a tremendous amount of healing. But … Continue reading You have more time
One of my favorite prose pieces is “Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros. In the piece, she proposes this idea that we are not merely the age we are but a collection of the ages we have been. We experience the ages we have been in response to situations we are in I am 27. I recently … Continue reading Nothing is ever wasted
I have a confession to make. I struggle with comparison. And not in the traditional sense. Not in the way you imagine, by comparing myself to any woman that crosses my path. No, there's really just one woman I compare myself to. You know the type. She's whimiscal, girly. Her photos get more likes on … Continue reading The Comparison Game
I've been attending this women's bible study the last few weeks and each week, a layer seems to be torn off of me. Yesterday, we talked about Beauty. I thought this would be one week where I didn't learn much. Not because I have astronomical confidence but because beauty's not really a big deal to … Continue reading Who God Says I Am