Over the next few days/weeks, I will be posting blog posts from my old blog. A part of me wants to remember the girl before the illness, before the diagnosis. This particular piece is from August 8, 2015. About this time a year ago, I was having quite the identity crisis. God had been … Continue reading Free to be me and you
I lay in bed all day. I cannot eat. I cannot watch TV. I avoid social media at all costs. It is May 7, 2016. The day he is getting married. I don't love him but my heart aches with a pain I cannot understand. I imagine the venue, the people, his suit, her dress. … Continue reading First choice
I've been praying heavily for a miracle, just anything to bring reconciliation between the church I got kicked out of and myself. When I was in the hospital, I had to share my story over and over. Doctors. Nurses. The chaplain. I waited for everyone to tell me what my sin was. How much I … Continue reading Different.
I spent the morning inhaling a microwave breakfast burrito and a large Diet Coke with watermelon flavoring from Sonic. Maybe I should be eating something a little healthier. The truth was that I was pretty nervous. You see, I had spent the weekend having discharge come out of my left breast. I had talked with … Continue reading The Big C
I spent the morning crying in my car, wondering if I had done something wrong. The day before, I had made the decision to release a huge desire in my heart and let go of the control I had been fighting for. I experienced a great deal of peace in doing that but I also … Continue reading Streams in the Desert
One of my favorite prose pieces is “Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros. In the piece, she proposes this idea that we are not merely the age we are but a collection of the ages we have been. We experience the ages we have been in response to situations we are in I am 27. I recently … Continue reading Nothing is ever wasted
A few years ago, I knew this girl that everyone kind of stayed leery of. She was of the messy grace variety. She made a lot of mistakes. She would take one step forward, three steps back. There came a point when people started questioning her salvation. No joke. I distinctly remember the chill I … Continue reading What if it’s messy?