I never talk about Wally. I think it’s because I really didn’t understand what had happened or why I was the way I was. Looking back, this was right around the time I started getting sick. My brain was making connections to things it shouldn’t. It started with a dating site a friend had encouraged … Continue reading Why I’m grateful for the zookeeper
A few weeks before my life changed forever, I attended a women's retreat through my church. By that point, I was already hollow inside. I had spent the drive up listening to the girlfriend of the guy I was in love with gush about their relationship. I wanted so desperately to move on. On the … Continue reading Jesus and Coffee
I laid in bed late last night, unable to sleep. I was thinking about Holy Saturday. I know we celebrate Good Friday and Easter Sunday but we don't really talk about Holy Saturday. We don't talk about the day all seemed lost. *** A pastor's wife told me that she could see that one day, … Continue reading Reclaiming myself on Easter Sunday
About a month ago, I made a decision to shave my head. It had been a slow progression towards this decision. A few weeks before I went into the hospital, I had my hair shaved into a a long mohawk. I had hair down past my shoulders. I spent every other day blowing it out. … Continue reading Beautiful.
It's no secret I have schizophrenia. I'm not shy about talking about it. Somehow, I think the more I talk about it, the less stigma there is. What I don't talk about very often is getting kicked out of a church. You see, in my psychosis, I had this belief that I was going to … Continue reading Emily and the Gospel of Reconciliation
I don't know about you but from time to time, I get these moments where I captivated by the Holy Spirit over something that apparently needs to be addressed. It usually comes out of nowhere. I usually cry. I move on. I should backtrack. For eight years, I had massive feelings for a friend. About … Continue reading Dear John
So I've been working through some significant church wounds and last night, I was hit with an old memory. Most people know that I'm the type of girl that makes the first move. I've always tried to make it really easy for the guy. I can handle a gentle no. Rejection is a part of life. What … Continue reading That one time.
I knew a woman once who told me this amazing story upon our first meeting. She and her husband had two children and were living in California when they heard of a ministry opportunity to serve in a Muslim country. In order to pay for this opportunity, they would have to sell everything they owned … Continue reading Faith
Once a month, I attend a women's group through my church. We share what's going on in our lives, what we're struggling with, what victories we've had. Slowly but surely, I am learning to let these girls into my heart. There's one thing I haven't shared with anyone. It's not that I stopped believing in … Continue reading He loves me
I'm not very good at meeting people. I get tongue-tied and quiet. I've been wanting to meet more people, mainly because I'm trying to form meaningful relationships but I really connect more with people when we are doing something together. The first time I fell in love was with a guy who I connected with … Continue reading Growing up
I heard a pastor once say that the best sermons are the ones that convict the speaker as much as the listener. So this blog post is as much for me as it is for you. Bear with me while I process out loud. A few years ago, I asked God to remove the temptation … Continue reading You, me and the dog
I remember the Sunday before I moved here. I had just lost my job and my home and was moving forward into the unknown, this small ounce of faith I had left carrying my weakened state. For months, I had struggled financially. I had seen God provide in some big ways but overall, it had … Continue reading Remembering Emily