I’ll be honest – I haven’t trusted much in God’s sovereignty. I have to explain: this has everything to do with my mother. When my mom was in her twenties, she was a full-time missionary. She spoke in churches all over the South. She wanted to be the next Elizabeth Eliot, sharing the gospel, writing … Continue reading My mother’s daughter
I sat in my car before my job interview, on the phone with a friend. I think he likes me. I’m not sure. I kind of feel like I should talk to him about it. I could hear her shaking her head. Emily, just be. If he likes you, just let him pursue things. You … Continue reading Just be.
Someone told me once when I first diagnosed to not always believe everything my brain is telling me. It was probably one of the wisest pieces of advice I had received, I got into a discussion earlier this week over the topic of signs from God. I'm not a fan of this concept. Truthfully, I … Continue reading Whisper.
I never talk about Wally. I think it’s because I really didn’t understand what had happened or why I was the way I was. Looking back, this was right around the time I started getting sick. My brain was making connections to things it shouldn’t. It started with a dating site a friend had encouraged … Continue reading Why I’m grateful for the zookeeper
A few weeks before my life changed forever, I attended a women's retreat through my church. By that point, I was already hollow inside. I had spent the drive up listening to the girlfriend of the guy I was in love with gush about their relationship. I wanted so desperately to move on. On the … Continue reading Jesus and Coffee
I laid in bed late last night, unable to sleep. I was thinking about Holy Saturday. I know we celebrate Good Friday and Easter Sunday but we don't really talk about Holy Saturday. We don't talk about the day all seemed lost. *** A pastor's wife told me that she could see that one day, … Continue reading Reclaiming myself on Easter Sunday
About a month ago, I made a decision to shave my head. It had been a slow progression towards this decision. A few weeks before I went into the hospital, I had my hair shaved into a a long mohawk. I had hair down past my shoulders. I spent every other day blowing it out. … Continue reading Beautiful.
It's no secret I have schizophrenia. I'm not shy about talking about it. Somehow, I think the more I talk about it, the less stigma there is. What I don't talk about very often is getting kicked out of a church. You see, in my psychosis, I had this belief that I was going to … Continue reading Emily and the Gospel of Reconciliation
I don't know about you but from time to time, I get these moments where I captivated by the Holy Spirit over something that apparently needs to be addressed. It usually comes out of nowhere. I usually cry. I move on. I should backtrack. For eight years, I had massive feelings for a friend. About … Continue reading Dear John
So I've been working through some significant church wounds and last night, I was hit with an old memory. Most people know that I'm the type of girl that makes the first move. I've always tried to make it really easy for the guy. I can handle a gentle no. Rejection is a part of life. What … Continue reading That one time.
I knew a woman once who told me this amazing story upon our first meeting. She and her husband had two children and were living in California when they heard of a ministry opportunity to serve in a Muslim country. In order to pay for this opportunity, they would have to sell everything they owned … Continue reading Faith
Once a month, I attend a women's group through my church. We share what's going on in our lives, what we're struggling with, what victories we've had. Slowly but surely, I am learning to let these girls into my heart. There's one thing I haven't shared with anyone. It's not that I stopped believing in … Continue reading He loves me