It was the summer of 2014 and I was grieving. I was grieving my mess. I tend to make a mess of things. Children that come from a background of abuse usually make a mess of things. When we get scared, we push boundaries. We push to see how far we can go before you … Continue reading Walking on Water
I called one of my best friends around 9:45 pm last night. Sobbing. My heart hurt so bad that prayer wasn't enough. I knew I needed a friend to speak truth into my life. She listened to my laments quietly before responding. "Jesus has got to be enough. He has to be." She was right. … Continue reading Enough.
Once a month, I attend a women's group through my church. We share what's going on in our lives, what we're struggling with, what victories we've had. Slowly but surely, I am learning to let these girls into my heart. There's one thing I haven't shared with anyone. It's not that I stopped believing in … Continue reading He loves me
All life-changing love is inconvenient. – Tim Keller I could probably just begin and end my blog post with that. A few months ago, God started to ask me to get involved with prison ministry. My answer was a curt “no” and nothing more. God just got louder. If I’m honest, I just felt myself … Continue reading Inconvenient.
One of my favorite prose pieces is “Eleven” by Sandra Cisneros. In the piece, she proposes this idea that we are not merely the age we are but a collection of the ages we have been. We experience the ages we have been in response to situations we are in I am 27. I recently … Continue reading Nothing is ever wasted
I’ve been binge-watching How I Met Your Mother for the last week or so and what I find so fascinating about the show is this idea of doppelgangers. A doppelganger is someone who looks like someone else. A twin of sorts that is not biologically-related to the person they look like. In the show, the … Continue reading Doppelgangers
One of my biggest struggles when it comes to faith is believing truly that I’m saved. While intellectually, I understand that I am saved by grace and not by works, I often wrestle with the fear that I have not done enough to earn God’s love or favor. I was told once that our … Continue reading The woman who dared to touch Jesus’ cloak
By Day 3, I know God is fighting for me. For someone with a mental illness, treatment is justice. I tell the doctors that I never knew a brain could feel like this. So clear, easily untangling the irrational thoughts that float into my head.
I've been to counseling quite a few times over the last twelve years. I've seen five different counselors, each time dealing with the tangled threads of my past and often, my present. I personally think everyone should go to counseling at some point. Do some heavy lifting with a third party. It's taken 4 counselors … Continue reading We accept the love we think we deserve