So I made a big move last week. I went on a date. Considering my last blog post, it was a big deal. But I have to go back. Back to the day before the date. It started with a therapy session, like all good stories start with. I went in the intent to talk … Continue reading Like a Child
I’ll be honest – I haven’t trusted much in God’s sovereignty. I have to explain: this has everything to do with my mother. When my mom was in her twenties, she was a full-time missionary. She spoke in churches all over the South. She wanted to be the next Elizabeth Eliot, sharing the gospel, writing … Continue reading My mother’s daughter
I had $7 in my pocket. That’s it. And I needed that money to get to work. I reflected on the past six months. I thought of my disobedience in not moving to Phoenix. I thought about how God had provided just enough food and shelter until the moment I was ready to leave. I … Continue reading Next steps
For a long time, I wondered if something was wrong with me. I can make friends with just about anyone but when I encounter a tight-knit tribe, I feel ostracized. Case in point, there's this group of people that goes to volleyball during the week. I've gone twice and both times, literally no one engaged … Continue reading James and the Sin of Partiality
We met on a sunny day in May. She was pure light, energetic, excited to be there. She was the type of person that got excited for people. She was exactly what I needed at that time in my life. Ben had rejected me and left the country. My heart hung heavy on my chest … Continue reading Saying Goodbye
I still remember the moment I knew it was over. I was sitting in my car, after our last full conversation. Ben had told me he loved. He told me that he understood the connection we had. He told me he didn’t want to be with me. I asked him why. Why wasn’t our connection … Continue reading Second choice
I sat in my car before my job interview, on the phone with a friend. I think he likes me. I’m not sure. I kind of feel like I should talk to him about it. I could hear her shaking her head. Emily, just be. If he likes you, just let him pursue things. You … Continue reading Just be.
Over the next few days/weeks, I will be posting blog posts from my old blog. A part of me wants to remember the girl before the illness, before the diagnosis. This particular piece is from August 8, 2015. About this time a year ago, I was having quite the identity crisis. God had been … Continue reading Free to be me and you
I don’t talk about Ben much these days. I think I’ve moved on past that time in my life but then something will happen and I’ll be brought back to being 21 and in love with one of my favorite people. When I met Ben, he was trying to win back his ex-girlfriend. He wouldn’t … Continue reading Prayers
Someone told me once when I first diagnosed to not always believe everything my brain is telling me. It was probably one of the wisest pieces of advice I had received, I got into a discussion earlier this week over the topic of signs from God. I'm not a fan of this concept. Truthfully, I … Continue reading Whisper.
I lay in bed all day. I cannot eat. I cannot watch TV. I avoid social media at all costs. It is May 7, 2016. The day he is getting married. I don't love him but my heart aches with a pain I cannot understand. I imagine the venue, the people, his suit, her dress. … Continue reading First choice
I never talk about Wally. I think it’s because I really didn’t understand what had happened or why I was the way I was. Looking back, this was right around the time I started getting sick. My brain was making connections to things it shouldn’t. It started with a dating site a friend had encouraged … Continue reading Why I’m grateful for the zookeeper