We were driving to my house late one night. I could feel the dull ache of my heart as Alex talked about working overseas. It was a feeling I was familiar with. At some point, I had just gotten used to it. But when I volunteered, it would fill up. For that brief amount of … Continue reading A God-shaped hole
I’ve been binge-watching How I Met Your Mother for the last week or so and what I find so fascinating about the show is this idea of doppelgangers. A doppelganger is someone who looks like someone else. A twin of sorts that is not biologically-related to the person they look like. In the show, the … Continue reading Doppelgangers
I've been attending this women's bible study the last few weeks and each week, a layer seems to be torn off of me. Yesterday, we talked about Beauty. I thought this would be one week where I didn't learn much. Not because I have astronomical confidence but because beauty's not really a big deal to … Continue reading Who God Says I Am
This time a year ago, I was preparing to stay. I had every intent of staying in Tucson, finding a better job and getting myself out of the whale of a dilemma I had gotten myself into. The air itself seemed like spring, although it was deadly hot. I sat across from a woman who … Continue reading Go.
It's the inside joke for those of us who grew up going to church. The answer is always Jesus. For every question we're asked in church, the only true adequate response is Jesus. We chuckled over this in high school. **** I was meeting with my new doctor the other day, going over my history, … Continue reading The Sunday School Answer
One of my biggest struggles when it comes to faith is believing truly that I’m saved. While intellectually, I understand that I am saved by grace and not by works, I often wrestle with the fear that I have not done enough to earn God’s love or favor. I was told once that our … Continue reading The woman who dared to touch Jesus’ cloak
Sometimes, I wonder how God got me here. It’s been almost 13 years since I asked Christ into my heart and I still remember it like it was yesterday. I asked God for help. I had just attempted suicide. I was tired. The voices in my head wouldn’t stop. I needed Jesus to rescue me. … Continue reading Ending Mental Health Awareness Month, not with a whisper but a bang!
By Day 3, I know God is fighting for me. For someone with a mental illness, treatment is justice. I tell the doctors that I never knew a brain could feel like this. So clear, easily untangling the irrational thoughts that float into my head.
I've been to counseling quite a few times over the last twelve years. I've seen five different counselors, each time dealing with the tangled threads of my past and often, my present. I personally think everyone should go to counseling at some point. Do some heavy lifting with a third party. It's taken 4 counselors … Continue reading We accept the love we think we deserve